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Letter "J" » Jay Leno Quotes


«Here's something to think about: How come you never see a headline like 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?»
Author: Jay Leno (Comedian, Host)
«Politics is just show business for ugly people»
Author: Jay Leno (Comedian, Host) | About: Funny, Politics | Keywords: show business
«The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot.»
«You can't stay mad at somebody who makes you laugh.»
Author: Jay Leno (Comedian, Host)
«According to this week's Time magazine, President George Bush is a serious fitness buff. He works out 60 to 90 minutes a day with weights. Apparently he likes working out because it 'clears his mind.' Sometimes it works a little too well.»
«For the first time in history, sex is more dangerous than the cigarette afterward.»
«Bush is smart. I don't think that Bush will ever be impeached, 'cause unlike Clinton, Reagan, or even his father, George W. is immune from scandal. Because, if George W. testifies that he had no idea what was going on, wouldn't you believe him?»
«Some Democrats say the estimated $60 billion dollar cost of a war with Iraq could be better spent at home. When he heard that, President Bush agreed and announced plans to bomb Ohio.»
«Twenty-one years ago today Saddam Hussein was first elected president of Iraq and he has been re-elected ever since. Apparently they have the same electoral process we do, you don't need the popular vote to win.»
«The University of Ilinois has hired 15 women to smell pig manure all day so that researchers can find out what makes pig manure smell so bad. You know who I feel sorry for? The woman who applied for this job and got turned down.»

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