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Letter "J" » Jay Leno Quotes
«John Kerry speaks French fluently. Democrats are saying he's one in a million. A war hero who speaks French, isn't it more like one in a trillion?»
Author: Jay Leno
(Comedian, Host)
| Keywords:
a million, a trillion, Democrats, fluently, john, John Kerry, Kerry, One In A Million, trillion, trillions
«John Kerry said today that he stands by ... his claim that certain foreign leaders have told him that they hope he wins. And George Bush fired back. He said oh yeah, certain Supreme Court justices have told me that I'm going to win.»
Author: Jay Leno
(Comedian, Host)
| Keywords:
fired, George Bush, John Kerry, justices, Kerry, Oh Yeah, Supreme Court, yeah
«According to doctors, George Bush has the lowest heartbeat ever recorded by someone in the White House. Well, second lowest. Dick Cheney got his down to zero a couple of times.»
Author: Jay Leno
(Comedian, Host)
| Keywords:
a couple of, Cheney, couple, dick, Dick Cheney, doctors, George, George Bush, heartbeat, heartbeats, lowest, recorded, The White House, White House, zero
«An Israeli man's life was saved when he was given a Palestinian man's heart in a heart transplant operation. The guy is doing fine, but the bad news is, he can't stop throwing rocks at himself.»
Author: Jay Leno
(Comedian, Host)
| Keywords:
bad guy, Bad Guys, Bad News, Heart transplant, Israeli, Israelis, operation, Palestinian, Palestinians, rocks, saved, throwing, transplant, transplanted, transplanting, transplants
«President Bush announced tonight that he believes in democracy and that democracy can exist in Iraq. They can have a strong economy, they can have a good health care plan, and they can have a free and fair voting. Iraq? We can't even get this in Florida.»
Author: Jay Leno
(Comedian, Host)
| Keywords:
announced, bush, care plan, economy, Florida, good health, health care, Iraq, President Bush, tonight, voting
«If God doesn't destroy Hollywood Boulevard, he owes Sodom and Gomorrah an apology»
Author: Jay Leno
(Comedian, Host)
| About:
God
| Keywords:
apology, boulevard, boulevards, Gomorrah, Hollywood, Hollywood Boulevard, owes, Sodom, Sodom and Gomorrah
«You're not famous until my mother has heard of you.»
«President Bush said for security reasons, he's sworn off all e-mail communication. He will not be using email at the White House at all. Is that a good idea? I mean, it's not like that speaking thing was working out so good.»
Author: Jay Leno
(Comedian, Host)
| About:
Funny
| Keywords:
e'en, email, e mail, good idea, mail, mailed, mailing, mails, President Bush, swear off, sworn, The White, The White House, White House, working out
«In his speech last night, John Kerry said this was the beginning of the end of the Bush administration. I agree. Sure, it may take another five years, but this is it.»
Author: Jay Leno
(Comedian, Host)
| Keywords:
administration, Bush Administration, john, John Kerry, Kerry, The Bush, This Was
«Vice President Cheney is also on vacation. He's in Jackson Hole, Wyoming. What better place for a guy who has had 4 heart attacks than a place with thin air, rugged hiking and all-beef dinners? Why don't they get some snow for him to shovel while he's out there, too?»
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