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Letter "D" » Dave Barry Quotes


«The real threat to whales is whaling, which has endangered many whale species.»
«You can say any fool thing to a dog, and the dog will give you this look that says, `My God, you're RIGHT! I NEVER would've thought of that!'»
Author: Dave Barry (Humorist, Writer) | About: Dogs, Funny, Pets
«Like many members of the uncultured, Cheez-It consuming public, I am not good at grasping modern art.»
Author: Dave Barry (Humorist, Writer) | Keywords: consuming, uncultured
«You can use the Internet to find out, from anywhere on the planet: exactly how much coffee is in a certain coffee machine at Cambridge University in England; exactly how many sodas are available in certain vending machines at certain major universities; and much, much more.»
«Software: These programs give instruction to the CPU, which processes billions of tiny facts called bytes, and within a fraction of a second it sends you an error message that requires you to call the customer-support hot line and be placed on hold for approximately the life-span of a caribou»
«I find myself having these conversations where I go...?You know, the guy, in that place. The guy in the place with the thing, you know.? And it becomes this game of charades. And then finally, we realize that I mean the Pope.»
Author: Dave Barry (Humorist, Writer) | About: Memory
«I am not a violent person. I am a product of the Flower Power '60s. I have actually worn bell-bottomed jeans.»
«Both of your socks should always be the same color, Or they should at least both be fairly dark»
Author: Dave Barry (Humorist, Writer) | Keywords: fairly, sock, socks
«Some archeologists believe that Stonehenge - the mysterious arrangement of enormous elongated stones in England - is actually a crude effort by the Druids to build a computing device.»
«USER, n.: The word computer professionals use when they mean 'idiot.'»

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