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Letter "D" » Dave Barry Quotes


«Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night»
«Magnetism is one of the Six Fundamental Forces of the Universe, with the other five being Gravity, Duct Tape, Whining, Remote Control, and The Force That Pulls Dogs Toward The Groins Of Strangers.»
«You can only be young once. But you can always be immature.»
Author: Dave Barry (Humorist, Writer) | About: Funny, Youth | Keywords: immature, young
«Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.»
Author: Dave Barry (Humorist, Writer) | Keywords: cares, dance, get up, nobody
«The problem with writing about religion is that you run the risk of offending sincerely religious people, and then they come after you with machetes.»
«What Women Want: To be loved, to be listened to, to be desired, to be respected, to be needed, to be trusted, and sometimes, just to be held. What Men Want: Tickets for the world series.»
«Scientists tell us that the fastest animal on earth, with a top speed of 120 feet per second, is a cow that has been dropped out of a helicopter.»
«People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.»
Author: Dave Barry (Humorist, Writer) | About: People, Religion | Keywords: almost, religious, share, views
«It is a well-documented fact that guys will not ask for directions. This is a biological thing. This is why it takes several million sperm cells . . . to locate a female egg, despite the fact that the egg is, relative to them, the size of Wisconsin.»
«Scientists now believe that the primary biological function of breasts is to make males stupid.»

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