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Letter "P" » P. J. O'Rourke Quotes


«A hat should be taken off when you greet a lady and left off for the rest of your life. Nothing looks more stupid than a hat.»
Author: P. J. O'Rourke (Humorist, Journalist, Writer) | Keywords: greet, hat
«A very quiet and tasteful way to be famous is to have a famous relative. Then you can not only be nothing, you can do nothing too.»
«The government is huge, stupid, greedy and makes nosy, officious and dangerous intrusions into the smallest corners of life / this much we can stand. But the real problem is that government is boring. We could cure or mitigate the other ills Washington visits on us if we could only bring ourselves to pay attention to Washington itself. But we cannot.»
«If government were a product, selling it would be illegal.»
«There's one more terrifying fact about old people: I'm going to be one soon.»
«What use is it to endure the Dutch Rubs and Indian Rope Burns that are politics if you can't obtain mastery over people and give them noogies back?»
«Politics are for foreigners with their endless wrongs and paltry rights. Politics are a lousy way to get things done. Politics are, like God's infinite mercy, a last resort.»
«Very little is known of the Canadian country since it is rarely visited by anyone but the Queen and illiterate sport fishermen.»
«The Democrats are the party of government activism, the party that says government can make you richer, smarter, taller, and get the chickweed out of your lawn. Republicans are the party that says government doesn't work, and then get elected and prove it.»
«Majority rule is a precious, sacred thing worth dying for. But -- like other precious, sacred things, such as the home and the family -- it's not only worth dying for; it can make you wish you were dead. Imagine if all of life were determined by majority rule. Every meal would be a pizza. Every pair of pants, even those in a Brooks Brothers suit, would be stonewashed denim. Celebrity diet and exercise books would be the only thing on the shelves at the library. And -- since women are a majority of the population -- we'd all be married to Mel Gibson.»

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